Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
by BlueRubyBeat
Summary: Naruto is bored...So he pulls out a list titled 'Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity' from his prank dresser. I wonder how much the village will suffer through?
1. Prologue

**Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto Masashi does. I just own the 15 number list.

"Muwahahahaha" – Speaking

'Hehehehehe' - Thinking

* * *

The sun was rising brightly in the sky waking up latecomers to start their day, but one little boy, or should I say gennin, was already up and wondering what to do with his day. He has bright blond spiky hair, an orange jumpsuit screaming 'Kill Me Kill Me!', and a forehead protector with a leaf insignia in the middle. The boy's name was Uzumaki Naruto and he was bored.

Naruto had no training today, his team was busy, his Jiji was busy, and Iruka was busy.

Naruto was bored.

And a bored Naruto is a scary Naruto.

The last time Naruto was bored, he snuck into the Hyuuga compound, stole all their underwear and plastered them to the Hokage tower in the village with the words 'Didn't know the Hyuuga Clan was so kinky!' And he didn't even get caught or punished because there was no solid proof he did it, although everyone knew it was him.

"Maaan…I'm boooooorrreeeddd." Naruto exclaimed as he stared around his apartment.

"What to do…Hmm…Hmm…AHA!" As he shouted he jumped from his couch and ran to his dresser of prank materials (Yes a WHOLE dresser). "Dung bombs…neon orange and neon pink paint bombs…duct tape…whip cream...shaving cream…plastic wrap…water balloons…Icha Icha Paradise…wrapping paper…paint cans…toilet paper…glue…feathers…fake blood…AHA! Here it is!" He brought out a piece of paper with the title of 'Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity'!

'I never got around to completing this list…' thought Naruto while reading over the list.

1. At lunch time, sit in a restaurant in a henge of a high ranked missing-nin and see if a) Anbu come to arrest you and b) every customer and employee alike run away in fear.

2. Page yourself over the intercom as the Hokage. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want ramen with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In' as the Hokage.

**5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks in the Jounin lounge. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso. **

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds' as the Hokage.

7. Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with your team, with a serious face.

**11. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day while grading papers as a sensei at the academy.**

12. When you win the jackpot, scream 'Holy mother of KAMI! We're all gonna DIE!' as Tsunade.

13. When leaving the Torture & Interrogation (T&I) building, start running through the village yelling 'Run for your lives, the Interrogators are loose!'

14. Tell your shinobi in a meeting, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let some of you go' as the Hokage.

**15. Whenever you can't think of anything else to say, grin widely, bug out your eyes and say 'I have Kunai.'**

"Well…since I have nothing to do, might as well complete it. I have only done three…Ah those were good times, good times." Naruto grinned and laughed evilly.

_~Elsewhere~_

"Brrrr…" Chilled a chuunin guard at the gates. "Did you get chills down your spine?"

"Yeah…What was that?" The chuunin's partner replied.

"No idea. But I haven't felt like that since Naruto became a genin." Both chuunin's paled thinking…'We're soooo screwed!'

_Let the games begin!_

* * *

Please read and review. Tell me what you think, any reviews would be appreciated.


	2. Chapter 1

**Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto Masashi does. I just own the 15 number list.

"Muwahahahaha" – Speaking

'Hehehehehe' - Thinking

* * *

"Okay, let's start at the beginning of the list!" exclaimed an excited Naruto.

1. At lunch time, sit in a restaurant in a henge of a high ranked missing-nin and see if a) Anbu come to arrest you and b) every customer and employee alike run away in fear.

"Well…all I need to do is pick a high ranked missing-nin…preferably of at least an A-rank…" murmured Naruto, "And for that all I need is a Bingo Book, but I don't have one up-to-date…"

-Hard thinking…-

"Who would have one…?"

-More thinking…'my brain's starting to hurt'-

"Hmm…"

-'C'mon think brain think'- (Probably won't help with you hitting your head like that *sweatdrop*)

"Oh yeah!" Naruto smacked his fist into his other hand, "Jiji always has one up-to-date, why didn't I think of that earlier?" (This is Naruto we're talking about, kinda slow sometimes).

* * *

_**~In the Hokage Tower above the Hokage's office~**_

'Jiji's in his office right now…' Naruto glared down at the Hokage through the vent above the office, 'How do I get him out to search his office…'

As Naruto started to think the office doors opened. A brunette woman's head peeked in, "Hokage-sama you told me to remind you of your meeting that starts in five minutes."

"Ah, thanks Yukina-san, the meeting will last, hopefully, only two hours," replied the Hokage as he started walking past his desk pushing closed a drawer on the right side of his desk.

After the Hokage was gone Naruto saw his chance. 'Yes! Perfect opportunity!' He grinned as he dropped the rope down so as to not alert anyone I he used chakra.

"Where would I be if I was a bingo book?" Naruto mumbled, "Maybe in the drawer Jiji shut on his way out?" Nodding to himself, Naruto went to the right side of the desk and propped open the drawer the Hokage shut. "This isn't a bingo book…this is what Kakashi-sensei reads…well, let's find out why Kakashi-sensei reads it all the time…"

Naruto opened the book & started blushing madly, "Gah!" In no time at all, the book was thrown back into the drawer and shut closed. "That…Jiji's a pervert? I knew it!"

'But that book…' Naruto thought pensively, 'That would make my Oiroke no Jutsu a lot better…didn't know clothing could be worn that way…' He opened the drawer again and started reading the book again.

As Naruto read the more intrigued he was…"Gah! Gotta focus, I'll read this later." Naruto shook his head to clear his thoughts and put the hentai book in his pocket while duplicating it for his Jiji with a note when it puffed away.

He searched the desk and found no bingo book so the next logically sound place would be the bookshelf. 'Got an hour left to search, I knew I should've just read that book at home, I was so into it I lost track of time…'

"Bingo," he whispered, "And he has two, I'll just take one." Naruto duplicated it again with a note and left the way he came with no one the wiser.

* * *

_**~Back in his apartment~**_

"Now that I have the bingo book, I gotta pick out a high-ranked nin," Naruto exclaimed while he thought, 'and read that hentai book for research later.'

Looking through the A-ranked section Naruto remembered that Momochi Zabuza was an A-ranked missing-nin but couldn't use him because he was dead. "Although," Naruto murmured, "Zabuza was part of the Seven Swordsman, maybe his old members would be good to henge into…"

Flipping pas the A-ranked section and into the S-ranked section he spotted one of the members, "Hoshigaki Kisame…S-ranked missing-nin from Kirigakure's Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist...Height 195 cm…Weight 83.1 kg…sword is Samehada that shaves and steals chakra…he has blue-grey skin tone, small, round white eyes, gill-like facial markings under his eyes and sharp triangular teeth with blue hair…a shark…this'll be interesting."

* * *

An hour later Naruto was ready for his prank. He left his apartment building with a long stick to henge into Samehada and clothes styled like when Kisame was still loyal to Kiri with brown ninja pants and long sleeved shirt, grey armor with wraps around his ankles and ninja sandals, and lastly a Kirigakure headband with a slash through it. While in an alley next to a bustling restaurant Naruto henged into Kisame, Samehada and all.

'YOSH! Let's do this!' Smiling eerily, Kisame (Naruto) walked into the restaurant, sat in a booth and waited for a waitress to take his order.

He didn't have to wait long with his aura sending deadly vibes around. A waitress shakily came to his booth and asked, "H-Hi I'm R-Rina, C-can I-I t-t-take y-your o-o-order?"

Glaring at the waitress Kisame (Naruto) replied glaring at her making her shake even more, "Yeah, I'm Hoshigaki Kisame & I want shrimp tempura & surimi. I better not be kept waiting for it either!" Growling at the end which made Rina run away in fear with the order.

Some chuunin ninja's a few booths down noticed him and quietly said to his friends, "Isn't Hoshigaki Kisame an S-ranked missing-nin?"

"Yeah," his friend replied while covertly alerting ANBU of this predicament.

Naruto noticed the gesture for calling ANBU and waited for them to arrive. 'Heh, they really should've changed their code signs since I know them all from watching (*coughstalkingcough*) them for weeks for a prank. Like when I changed their ANBU outfits for Maito Gai only instead of green, each spandex outfit was colored their mask animal, so they really looked like the animal they portrayed…hehehe.'

Naruto couldn't take it and laughed with a spine-chilling tone that reverberated throughout the restaurant scaring the customers, employees, and the ninja's inside, which is just about everyone.

ANBU started pouring in while ushering the customers and employees out, which they didn't need to be told twice and raced like they were ninja themselves. Only Kisame (Naruto) and the ANBU were in the restaurant along with the chuunin that alerted the ANBU and arriving jounin for extra protection.

Everything was quiet & Naruto's thoughts sounded loud even in his head, 'I really don't want to be arrested so…'

"Well, this restaurant is crap! My food's not even here!" Kisame (Naruto) exclaimed murderously, "Tch! Too bad the waitress left, could've showed her why I'm the most feared of the Seven Swordsman of the Mist!"

"You come quietly & you won't be killed," said an ANBU calmly while closing in slowly.

"Too bad for you, I was already leaving so, I won't take you up on that offer. Already in trouble with the law and although I would like to cause mayhem here, I have an appointment to keep elsewhere," he stated as he stood up catching Samehada with his hand and doing hand signals with the other.

With all the ninja charging at once, Naruto (as Kisame still) swiped with Samehada and finished his hand signals and in a swirl of water left the restaurant and appeared in his apartment.

* * *

_**~Back in the restaurant~**_

"Did we catch Hoshigaki?" Asked a nameless jounin.

"No, but I suggest you release me now," replied a very irritated voice.

"Erk!" Responded an ANBU, as everyone looked at a soaked, slightly singed and shocked Hokage, who in total looked like a drenched cat with scorched marks here and there.

* * *

_**~In an unknown location~**_

"Atchoo!" Sneezed a blue-skinned murderer.

"Keep quiet," hissed his partner.

"Someone used me in a prank and they will pay! Muwahahahaha!" The real Hoshigaki Kisame laughed terrifyingly.

"Kisame! Stop with the murderous laugh, you were only to do that when you catch your victims away from me," his partner glared.

"But Itachi, someone used my name!" Kisame whined.

"Yes, yes, and you can laugh when you kill them," his partner now known as Uchiha Itachi consoled.

"I'll get you soon. Hehehehe!" Kisame laughed quietly.

"And no scheme laughing either!"

* * *

_**~Back with Naruto in his apartment~**_

"Phew! That was close!" Naruto wiped the sweat from his brow as he changed back into his orange jumpsuit. 'Glad I asked Kakashi-sensei how to use Mizu-Shunshin no Jutsu.'

"Now let's check mark that off the list," Naruto uttered as he used a pen to mark it off.

**1. At lunch time, sit in a restaurant in a henge of ****a high ranked missing-nin and see if a) Anbu come to arrest you and b) every customer and employee alike run away in fear.**

"Well, almost got caught by the ANBU and the rest of the ninja's in the restaurant, probably shouldn't go there for a while," he murmured to himself.

* * *

_**~In the Hokage's office~**_

"Sigh…" breathed the Hokage as he sat in his chair. 'Today was quite hazardous & I only wanted some lunch…at least I got to take a break because of it…Now let's see you Komiko-chan and how you do with Yuna-chan in the dressing room…Oh hohoho,' blushing brightly, the Hokage opened the drawer on the right of his desk and pulled out his little orange book.

But before he could read it, it puffed into smoke leaving a small white piece of paper which read, _Dear Jiji, I am borrowing this for research & I'll bring it back when I'm done! ~Naruto ;]_

'Wha-?' He seemed certainly confused then another poof sounded in the office, he looked to his left to the bookshelves and saw another small white piece of paper floating down to the floor.

Getting up and walking to the paper, the Hokage picked it up and read to himself, "_Jiji, I'm borrowing this too, hope you don't mind but I wanna see the missing-nin's out there for when I get a super cool mission to guard some princess or something! ~Naruto_."

"Oh Naruto, you seemed to cause the mess in the restaurant today & took my only joy from my room," cried the Hokage (anime tears rolling down his face).

* * *

_**~In Naruto's apartment~**_

"Hope Jiji's not too mad with the notes I left him…oh well. On to the next activity on my list," Naruto hummed to himself looking at his list to finish completing.

* * *

**Oiroke no Jutsu – Sexy Technique**

**Mizu-Shunshin no Jutsu – Water Body Flicker Technique**

Please read and review. Tell me what you think, any reviews would be appreciated.


	3. Omake 1

**Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto Masashi does. I just own the 15 number list.

"Muwahahahaha" – Speaking

'Hehehehehe' – Thinking

_Just a little Omake because I have college & lots of school work now so this will keep you interested until I dish out another chapter!_

* * *

**OMAKE**

Working out strategies and items to use for his prank list was quite a bit of work but would show promise in the results. Naruto decided to do the pranks of his off days as training in stealth, battle plans, and strategies that normally wouldn't be of use with team exercises and D-ranked missions with his team. So after a while of prank strategies Naruto decided to take a break and read the _literature_ he _borrowed_ from the Hokage's office (and with every intention of returning it *wink wink*).

Sitting on his well-used couch Naruto started talking to himself, well to his shadow clone self to be precise, "…and people say that pranking isn't useful."

"Yeah, I mean we are the best at stealth in our graduating class & we can outrun shinobi's up to ANBU level," Naruto's clone replied.

"Pshh, of course we ARE the best!" grinned the original, "but planning out strategies for pranks, no matter how boring strategy is, is a lot of hard work & I already ate four instant ramen cups for my break but I wanna rest my head a bit more…"

Both Naruto and his clone put a hand to their chins and tilted their heads in thought.

After a while in using more brain cells, the clone asked, "So what should we do for a break boss?"

"Dunno, have any ideas?" Naruto replied.

"How am I supposed to know when I'm YOUR clone, we think alike!" he argued.

"Hehe, oh yeah. Hmmmm…then you should leave since you aren't helping!" Naruto commented back.

"Fine! Hope your brain explodes from thinking!" his clone retorted before puffing into smoke.

"Blasted clones, it's like their personality changes every time I summon one…" the orange-wearing gennin murmured to himself, now alone in his apartment.

Looking around his apartment for inspiration, Naruto's eyes settled on an innocent orange book in between his prank book materials on his book shelf.

'I did say I wanted to use that book for research on my Oiroke no Jutsu…maybe I can get find out how to get female perverts since the Oiroke no Jutsu is for male perverts…hmmm…' thinking deviously, Naruto walked to the bookshelf and grabbed the book labeled _Icha Icha Paradise_.

Naruto not wanting to be caught with a pervert book settled the book on the couch & went to the windows and pulled down the shades to keep people from looking in, 'Probably should have done that before I started my prank strategies, oh well.'

Settling down on the couch and starting from the beginning of the book, Naruto grabbed a scroll for his ideas.

_**~Two hours later~**_

The apartment was filled with giggling called _The Pervert Giggle_ which signified a pervert was near, although Naruto would forever claim he was NOT a pervert, he just weeds them out.

Naruto put his new found inspiration down on the table with three scrolls full of information on how to perfect his pervert sensor technique. Looking around his apartment to see if he had any more of that perfect research material, he sighed when not finding any more.

'How am I supposed to make my technique better if I run out of research material,' crying anime tears Naruto shakes his fist to the direction of the Hokage tower, 'Why didn't you have more of the precious material in your office Jiji, why!'

Grumbling and cursing the Hokage Naruto had a sudden idea, 'What if…no no no, I would get caught…but what if I went and bought more…'

Running toward his bedroom, Naruto got down on the floor and opened a fake floorboard under his bed and grabbed his Gama-chan wallet. Looking through his ryo Naruto deemed he had enough money if he went to buy more research material. 'But how am I going to get them, I'm underage…' Naruto thought while covering the floorboard again, 'I know, Kakashi-sensei always reads these books, maybe I can henge into him and get more…that would work.'

Naruto smiled evilly and left his apartment to the bookstore.

**~At the bookstore in the hentai section~**

Naruto browsed the hentai books for the _Icha Icha Paradise_ series and grabbed all but the last volume since that was the one he acquired from his Jiji. Walking to the clerk at the register he put down his selection.

"Ah, Hatake-san! Nice to see you again," said the clerk, "Why are you buying the entire _Icha Icha Paradise_ series, didn't you buy them on the first day they came out?"

Hatake Kakashi (Naruto) with his gravity-defying silver hair who wore the standard jounin outfit of blue pants, shirt, and sandals with a green jounin vest, ankle wrappings, blue-plated fingerless gloves, with his ever present face mask and a blue-clothed Konoha headband covering his left eye replied, "Well, I had a mission and one of my precious books burned from a katon jutsu so I thought to buy the whole selection again for backups."

Nodding his head the clerk said while ringing up his items, "That's a good idea, I would cry if my books got burned."

Grinning while rubbing the back of his head Kakashi said, "Yeah, I punished the ninja that burned my precious for it instead of crying but I did hold a burial for it too. Poor thing. Volume 7 is my favorite and I was quite devastated when it died."

"Volume 7 you say? The one with Kyoko-chan & Natsumi-chan doing the…" the clerk started saying before Kakashi interrupted, "Yeah, with the…" wriggling his fingers to finish the sentence instead.

Both sighed with blushed on their faces. "The total comes to 7,650 ryo, gave you a discount as a fellow reader," he said grinning at his number one customer.

"Thanks," Kakashi paid the man and left the store with his purchase all the while poofing back into Naruto.

_**~In Naruto's apartment~**_

"Shishishi," Naruto laughed as his plan worked out, "Finally my precious reading material I have you and at less than half of the normal price. Kakashi-sensei you are awesome!"

_**~Elsewhere in the village~**_

"Atchoo!" Sneezed a mask wearing jounin reading a little orange book, "Somebody just gave in to their inner pervert!" *Giggle*

_**~Back in Naruto's apartment~**_

Putting all the books on a shelf lower than his prank books Naruto sighed, "Now to continue my research!" Naruto grabbed the first five volumes and started reading.

"Ohohohoho! Can't wait to try out this new technique!" Naruto giggled as he continued to read the books and writing his ideas in the scrolls.

"Soon my new victims-I mean my new partners will be able to tell me if my techniques will work. Fufufufu!" Naruto laughed insanely.

* * *

**Oiroke no Jutsu – Sexy Technique**

**_The Pervert Giggle_ - is what I promptly named the giggle  
**

Please read and review. Tell me what you think, any reviews would be appreciated. And reviewing will help give me more initiative to write faster! ~Smile~


	4. Chapter 2

**Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto Masashi does. I just own the 15 number list.

"Muwahahahaha" – Speaking

'Hehehehehe' – Thinking

* * *

_**~In Naruto's Apartment~**_

"On with the next activity on my list," Naruto hummed while looking down at the list in his hands.

"Well, can't do number 2, nor 4 or 6, Jiji might be a little paranoid after what happened earlier…kehehe, getting hit with jutsu from his own ninjas…"

…

Dreaming of the Hokage's misfortune…

…

"Anyways! Number 12 looks good…

When you win the jackpot, scream 'Holy mother of KAMI! We're all gonna DIE!' as Tsunade."

"Yosh! Let's get to work!" Naruto pumped his fist into the air.

"Those are some big jugs," commented someone behind him.

Jumping in fright, Naruto looked behind him to see a clone of him grinning like a lunatic & looking at a picture of Tsunade the Slug Sannin.

"Whoa…those are huge!" Naruto replied looking over the shoulder of the clone. "Wait! Why are you here? I thought I dispelled all of you."

His clone replied not taking his eyes off the photo, "I was in the kitchen eating ramen when you dispelled the lot."

Eyes wide, Naruto dashed to the kitchen to find his ramen stock half depleted. "Why did you eat half my precious ramen?!"

"I was hungry."

"You're a clone." Naruto deadpanned.

The clone just shrugged his shoulder and replied, "What you have to worry about is how to transform into her and be able to walk with the chest weight."

"It shouldn't be that hard, I mean I transformed into a girl before," Naruto responded before putting his hands in the ram position.

"Henge no Jutsu!" Naruto shouted and in his place appeared a 25 year old woman with long blonde hair pulled into two loose ponytails, brown eyes, light tan skin, a purple diamond in the middle of her forehead and a DD size bust.

Tsunade (Naruto) smirked and stepped forward, "This isn't so ba—" Was all she said before she face planted.

"Yeah, it isn't so bad is it?" The Naruto clone laughed. Looking up from the ground Tsunade glared.

She got into a kneeling position, "Okay…this might be harder than I thought…" As she was slowly getting up she had to lean against the couch arm, "How do girls keep straight with this weight?!"

"I have no idea…but no wonder they can punch hard…" His rhetorical question answered.

"What?" Tsunade stared.

"Well…the way I see it, the bigger the breasts the harder women punch." Naruto clone nodded wisely.

"How do you explain Sakura-chan then?"

"She's an anomaly…I still believe that because Tsunade has big jugs and has to hold up that weight her upper body strength is higher than normal."

"Hmm…that sounds about right. Don't think I'll ever say that to Sakura-chan though…" Tsunade thought out loud.

"Unless you wanna die," the Naruto clone agreed. "So, you gotta practice how to walk with that weight."

"Right! Let's get to it!" Tsunade pumped her fist in the air.

"Yeah you do that while I keep to my previous activity." Tsunade sweat dropped before started practicing.

_**~An hour of practicing passed by~**_

"Okay, I'm ready to go for it!" Tsunade grinned before poofing back into Naruto.

* * *

_**~Behind a Casino in Konoha~**_

"Okay, phase one of the plan: transform into Tsunade, Shizune, and Tonton! So, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

From the technique poofed two Naruto clones.

"Okay men, one of you needs to transform into Shizune and the other into Tonton," Naruto stated showing them a picture of the two. Shizune had shoulder-length black hair with black eyes wearing a long blue-black kimono with white trimmings, held closed by a white obi and open-toed low sandal heels. Shizune was smiling while holding a pig, Tonton, who was light pink in color wearing a pearl necklace and a red jacket.

"I pick Shizune!" Cried one of the Naruto clones.

"What?! I want Shizune!" Argued the other.

"Well I picked her first & you didn't!"

"That's not fair, I wasn't ready!"

"Guys! Guys! Both of you play rock, paper, scissors to see who will be Shizune. The winner will be Shizune and the loser will be Tonton," Naruto said to settle the argument.

The clones glared at each other, then nodded.

"Okay, I will say rock, paper, scissors, shoot! On shoot, you play your choice," Naruto explained the rules. The two clones nodded and faced each other with their right hand in a fist over the palm of their left hand.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

Both clones ended with a draw of scissors.

"It's a draw! Get ready for the next round!" Naruto commented.

They glared at one another in anticipation of being the hot lady.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

The clone on the left had rock and the clone on the right had paper.

"Damn it!" The clone on the left raged.

"Yes!" The clone on the right pumped his fist into the air. "I'm Shizune and you're Tonton! Mahahaha!"

"Hmph!" The Naruto that lost glared and signaled defeat. With his hands in the ram position he sighed, "Henge no Jutsu."

And with that, he poofed into the pig. The other clone grinned and yelled enthusiastically, "Henge no Jutsu!" He poofed into the hot lady.

"Okay, my turn. Henge no Jutsu!" Naruto said and he poofed into Tsunade.

"I wish I had jugs like yours…" Remarked Shizune.

"They're cool until you walk with them. So here's the plan…" Tsunade whispered with his clones nodding. After Naruto reminded his clones what to do they set off to the casino, Shizune holding Tonton and walking next to and slightly back of Tsunade.

The group calmly walked in the casino and went straight for the pachisuro machines, which are commonly known as slot machines.

"Hey boss," Shizune whispered, "How do you know you'll win the jackpot?"

"You forget, when I was little I would go to casino's and play a bit to get some extra cash & I always won. And if I won big, I'd give most of it away and keep the rest," Tsunade whispered back.

"Oh yeah," Shizune said sheepishly.

"Clones," Tsunade shook her head. "And this win is the hugest one yet. ¥2,526,900!"

Before they could continue their conversation some stranger said to their friends, "Is that Densetsu no Kamo Tsunade?"

"Yeah it is, man this casino is gonna get rich off her!" One of the stranger's friends' said.

"Ignore them Tsunade-sama," Shizune comforted.

"Che!" Was her response.

Putting some coins in the machine and pulling down the lever, both women waited along with their audience. It seemed to take forever for the slot machine to finish…

…

Ka-chunk. A 7 is the first number.

…

Ka-chunk. Another 7.

… A member of the audience was biting their fingernails in anticipation…

Ka-chunk. And the last number was…A7! Suddenly there were balloons and loud sounds going off above her, as well as a woman with a large check for ¥2,526,900.

"Here is your winnings!" The woman congratulated.

"I won…?" Tsunade questioned.

"She won…?" The audience was awed.

"Wait…if I won then…Holy mother of KAMI! We're all gonna DIE!" Tsunade concluded with a yell, "Shizune we gotta get outta here before the disaster!"

"Don't forget your winning Tsunade-sama!" Shizune stated.

Turning around, Tsunade grabbed her winnings from the check woman and bucked it out the casino with Shizune and Tonton following. The audience just stared at the women flee from sight.

"What did she mean 'we're all gonna die'?" A man asked.

"Uhhh…" His friend's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water before he smacked his left fist into his right hand. "I know! She always loses at betting, ALWAYS! And every time she won something bad happened and the bigger the bet the bigger the disaster that followed."

"And since she won ¥2,526,900…then…" Both the men looked at each other before grabbing their money and sprinted to the exit as fast as Tsunade did. The rest of the audience just scrambled to the exit screaming and some crying while climbing over each other to leave the casino.

_**~With Naruto and his clones back to normal on a roof near the casino~**_

"Just look at them scramble," remarked one of the Naruto's.

"Hahaha, this is hilarious," another said before high-fiving the Naruto on his left.

"Yeah! And look, the ninja's finally came to the scene!" The last one observed.

_**~Back to the casino~**_

"People, people, stop moving over one another and leave the casino calmly," A random ninja tried to calm down the crowd.

"Yeah, and die slower?! No way in hell!" A gambler yelled back before leaving the scene.

Another ninja was getting a little irritated with the crowd and took one of the gamblers in his grasp and pulled him to the side and asked, "Why are you all scrambling so frightened away from the casino?"

"Didn't you hear? Densetsu no Kamo Tsunade was here and won the ¥2,526,900 jackpot! There's gonna be a disaster here now and we don't wanna die!" Explained the gambler before scuttling away from the ninja.

"She won that much?" The ninja's eyed bugged out before he started hyperventilating. "Oh Kami. OH Kami! OH KAMI!"

"Snap out of it man!" The first ninja slapped the other across the cheek.

"You don't understand!" The ninja yelled. "She WON! You…this…we…disaster…I QUIT! Take my headband, I can't do this shit anymore!"

The first ninja held the other's headband in his hand and stared as the other dashed away with the wind.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" A voice roared over the crowd.

Still confused, the ninja turned around and saw the Hokage with a vein pulsing on his forehead. He looked to his hand with the headband and then outstretched his arm to the Hokage and put it in his hand.

"Toro quit, and now that he did it, so will I. Tsunade won the jackpot and we can't deal with the commodity that's been happening and Tsunade winning the jackpot is the last kunai." The ninja took off his own headband and handed it to the Hokage also before leaving the scene.

Blinking in confusion the Hokage looked around to find his ninja's helping the civilians fleeing from the casino from being trampled by others then back to the headbands in his hand.

…

'Why would Tsunade be here?' He thought.

…

'She swore she would never come back…' Memories swirling.

…

'And she won the jackpot but no disaster has struck yet…' Confusion apparent.

…

'It would happen faster than slow…so…' Conclusion is coming.

…

'Then…that…wasn't Tsunade…who was it though?' Conclusion is so close.

…

Sigh. 'The only person who could win the jackpot on their first try would be…' Conclusion reached. 'Naruto.'

With a hand to his head, the Hokage sighed and then looked to the sky asking, 'Why Naruto why?'

**~With Naruto and his clones~**

"Ahhh…" Naruto sighed and put his arms over the shoulders of both his clones. "Sweet music to my ears."

"Let's do another prank!" Grinned both clones and Naruto agreed with an evil grin of his own.

_**~Back with the Hokage~**_

With a shiver down his spine the Hokage thought, 'I don't think I will die in battle or retire from my position…I'll die from Naruto's pranks…It's your entire damn fault Minato & Kushina! Even though you didn't raise them, it's like he read your journals!'

* * *

**Henge no Jutsu – Tranformation Technique**

**Pachisuro – Slot Machine**

**Densetsu no Kamo Tsunade – Tsunade the Legendary Sucker**

Sorry it took so long, but I finally got back to writing! I reread my chapters to get writing on my next chapter & though, 'Wow! I really like this story, when's the next chapter coming out?' But then I remembered that I'm the author and just felt quite stupid for my moment of utter stupidity. I hope I'm not the only one who did this, but feel free to laugh at my dumb moment. XD I know I did.

Please review, the button is just below this chapter… *wink wink*


	5. AN Must read!

Sorry everyone...But I went on a break earlier because of a) college b) death in the family c) my engagement...I know it sucks, but I also will redu some chapters to make them better (because I was in a tired state when I wrote & uploaded them & I'm a chemistry major & NOT an english major)! I will be back sometime in fall since I will be out of the country for a few months & I will not be bringing my laptop!

Thanks for all my reviewers/favorites/alerts! You'll give me the strength to write better!

BlueRubyBeat


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